Wednesday, December 31, 2008
yesterday was an emotional day for me,i went on a weepathon,with lots of tears.
i'm not the kind who likes to show my anixety,disappointment,or worries on the outside,and because of that,whenever i feel sad,its really silent and painful on the inside.but i think the lord wants me to be open with my feelings.and so,i shall begin with this.
on monday,i got back my results for inds,and frankly,i thought i would get better than what i got.but i didn't.when i got my results,i was disappointed.
i thought i'll be fine,and went out to watch twilight,which obviously didnt lighten my mood.and i went home,i slept really early that night.i wanted to escape from that feeling.when i woke up yesterday,i didnt feel any better.i think the devil made used of my feelings,and i just felt so depressed.i looked at my comments,and what i felt was just demoralisation.i started to feel lost,and helpless,and i started to sense fear towards it.and i didnt want to fear,because what lies on the heels of fear is hatred.when you start to fear something,you will hate it sooner or later.so,i decided to take the stack of sermons,and chose one to listen to.and i started to listen to god's word.after listening to it,i confided in god,i told him my feelings,thoughts,and problems,and when i cried out to him,my tears started coming out.all my worries started expressing themselves through tears.after confiding,i couldnt stop crying.i turned on some praise and worship songs,and started listening,and tears just kept coming down.the funny thing was my tears were no longer filled with sadness,helplessness but instead loved upon.
and when i finally calmed down,i felt refreshed.and after lunch,i suddenly felt this strong sense of drive.so i took my inds's results slip,and as i read it,god seems to be telling me that this is not a problem for him,if changes happened,it will be good.so i felt really motivated,no longer did i feel disheartened reading my comments.and i know this could only be god's love for me.
i thank god for hearing my cries,and prayers.for god says that the battles that i go through are not mine,but his.
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today is the last day of 2008,and it has been an amazing year.the events that took place were just god-sent.
this year,i started attending church regularly,i became the beloved child of god.
this year,i finally got someone to fall back on whenever i fail.
this year,i went to hillsong united concert.great praise and worship
this year,i met a7x with own eyes,standing right in front of me.
this year,i went to a7x's awesome concert.they're really good live.
this year,i had a lot of awesome church services.
this year,i met with disappointments but i didnt have to deal with it alone.
this year,i met friends whom i adore so dearly.
this year,my friends whom i know for years,i believe our friendship has taken to a stronger level.
this year,was an awesome year.
and tomorrow,1/1/2009,it will be hundredfold better,filled with unmerited abundance of grace,favour,blessings from my daddy god.amen.
happy new year people!!!!!!
I am living to make your name high!
